Overcoming Fear, Self-Doubt and Anxiety in Real Estate | Lugo & Co.

Overcoming Fear + Self-Doubt in Real Estate

What is it about sales that can make some of us turn to mush? You know the feeling: dry mouth, sweaty palms, racing heart. We’ve all been there! Finding success in running a real estate business can quickly be derailed by those feelings of fear, self-doubt, and even anxiety.

Whether you’re feeling that icky anxiety, or self-doubt, or you’re completely overwhelmed and not sure what to do next, these feelings usually stem from fear. Businesses only work on consistent, focused work and prospecting, but it’s difficult to keep on track when these feelings set in.

It is not in my nature to meet challenges head-on, with that heroine strength and conviction that you see from the great leaders in the world. I’ve struggled with social anxiety most of my life, and I was constantly living with a fear of failing, or not being “good enough”. So much of my life had been rooted in fear, and when we got into real estate, it was like those feelings were amplified a thousand percent. 

Open houses? I’d hang on the fringes while Bryce took the lead. Prospecting calls? Forgettaboutit. Listing appointments? I’d just smile and nod. Very quickly, though, I started noticing these trends and realized how toxic they were to our business and relationship.

So,  I realized that fear can be the root of forces that can completely throw you off course in your business. I decided early on in our business venture that learning to overcome fear and gain power over those feeling must become a daily practice. And, because I know that others might feel similar (especially when starting out!). I wanted to share a few of my tactics for overcoming fear as a real estate professional.

Educate yourself. Constantly.

Over time, I found that a big fear of mine was from feeling like a “fraud”. As if at any moment, someone was about to pop out and yell “GOTCHA!” and I’d be found out. A lot of people have felt this way at one time or another! Looking back, I understand now how ridiculous this was. In reality, I knew our contract documents inside and out, and I knew that I could go to bat for my clients better than anyone else.

I realized that by knowing as much as I could about my industry, and my clients – their wants, needs, and concerns – then I could overcome the objections and questions that come our way in this business. I listened to podcasts constantly (still do!) and we went to all the real estate classes we could fit in. We got mentoring and scheduled coffee dates with those who had been in the industry longer.

In the times between, I started reading. A lot. I read a lot in general – I try to shoot for one book a week – but I started working on reading the RIGHT books. Books that would help me understand business, marketing, client needs, and how to speak with confidence and assurance.

In fact, I rounded out my top 5 books for you here! Add these to your arsenal and become a more powerful business owner with each page.

 

Our education as business owners is never complete. Things constantly change and evolve, and this industry, in general, can transform in the blink of an eye. And the only way to ensure you are never caught in that “GOTCHA” moment, is to stay on top of your craft. Read, go to classes, listen to educational podcasts, and conquer with knowledge.

Take action…any action.

One of the things I learned along the way is that action is the enemy of fear. Sometimes, whether it’s the first lake trip of the summer or the first call on your list during your morning prospecting, you just have to jump in. No matter how cold the water is. Everything after that feels a little easier once you get in, and realize it’s not so scary or painful.

So, if you’re confronted with fear when prospecting, marketing, or speaking with clients – try the cold lake strategy. Jump on in, knowing it might be painfully cold at first. But, know that the discomfort will fade away once you’re neck deep.

If you just can’t rip off that band-aid – talk it through. Sometimes the best action you can take when overcoming your fear is to really analyze it and see if it actually has merit. Write down what you’re afraid of happening. Then, write down what life would look like if it actually did.

Here’s an example:

Situation: I’ve gotta make 10 calls to my database today, and I just cannot pick up that phone to start.

Fear: What if I bother my friends or come off salesy? (Fear of rejection or being “found out”)

Talk it through: Well, I know these ten people and they are in my database for a reason. If someone is really genuinely unhappy to hear from me just because I’m calling to check in, they probably don’t belong in my database. I’ll just remove them if that happens.

On the other hand, I told three of these people that I’d be reaching out this week, so at least they are expecting my call. No worries there. And as for the rest, I need to just focus on providing service. I’ll convey that I genuinely care about them and that I’m just looking to reconnect and help where I can.

By determining a solution to a possible negative outcome, and identifying your place of service, suddenly you’re not jumping into the unknown. You have a clear agenda for what could happen, and how you’ll deal with the situation. By analyzing your fear and talking it through, you reinforce your confidence. You remind yourself of your capability in overcoming any obstacles that might arise.

 

Try to control what you CAN control.

A lot of times, I’ve found, our fears can stem from worrying over things that we cannot control. We can’t control changes in the market. We can’t control the actions and feelings of our buyers and sellers. And, we can’t control about a million other factors that affect our businesses.

But, there is plenty that we can and should control when it comes to our business.

We can:

  • control the how much we prospect, and how consistently we stick to it.
  • closely monitor the metrics of our business, and regularly check in on how effective we are being to bring in new clients and earn revenue.
  • learn to effectively set expectations with our clients.
  • proactively educate ourselves to develop and sharpen our skills.

And, we can learn each and every contract document, inside and out, to understand (and leverage!) all the elements of our transactions.

 

Lastly, remember that it all takes time.

Overcoming fear, and the self-doubt and anxiety that can come with it takes time. The longer you consistently work in your craft, and the more experience you gain, those fears will begin to shrink. Continue to increase your knowledge and develop your skills. And be self-aware of your fears, to work through them as they come up.

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